


The Curious Case Of The Missing Peanut Butter

by Appletini



Category: Psych
Genre: Carlton is the law, Christmas Fluff, Established Relationship, M/M, Theft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-06
Updated: 2016-12-06
Packaged: 2018-09-06 22:00:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8770963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Appletini/pseuds/Appletini
Summary: A thief visits the Lassiters.





	

"Shawn! Why is there no peanut butter left in the jar again? I just bought a new one!"

"It wasn't me! It was the peanut butter elf!"

"The peanut butter elf, huh?"

"I saw him lurking around but I had no idea he would stoop so low as to eat all the peanut butter!"

"You mean you saw a PEANUT BUTTER elf lurking around and didn't imagine he might go after the peanut butter? Is that it, Shawn?"

"Wouldn't that have been racial profiling? You know I'm no bigot, Lassie!"

"Uh huh. Well, what did the elf look like? We'll need to go down to the station to talk to the sketch artist."

"Well... Umm... Well, all I remember is that he had magnificent hair under his elven hat, and his gorgeous yet beady little elf eyes were bursting with lust for peanut butter! His mouth curved into a sinister grimace, or maybe it was a smile... but Lassie! It was horrifying! He shoveled all the peanut butter into his mouth in one fell scoop! And then... And then it stuck to the ceiling of his mouth and he screamed in frustration! It was a horrible sound! Oh, it was horrible! Hold me, Lassie!"

Carlton pulled Shawn into his arms.

"Why didn't you come get me?"

"You would have shot the poor guy full of holes. It's Christmas! I couldn't let you do that!"

"Shawn, you know we can't let these elves get away... Sweet Justice! There it goes!"

Quickly, Carlton grabbed a gun from his kitchen hiding place and ran after the blurry green figure.

"Freeze, you bread spread stealing maggot!"

Just as Shawn got outside he heard six loud bangs and the elf fell backwards onto the lawn. His body was full of holes.

"No!!!!" Shawn screamed in horror.

There on the grass the handsome elf lay, dead as a doorknob, peanut butter slowly oozing from his mouth.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Happy Holidays!


End file.
